Do it with a smile
The human brain has evolved over thousands of years to avoid unpleasant experiences and conserve its energy for our survival. Whether it’s writing a 20-page essay or convincing yourself to go to the gym when you’re feeling like a couch potato, our default is to buckle under the resistance we encounter.
In a society that’s been primed to seek comfort, we sometimes look at those who enjoy challenging endeavors as psychopaths.
Yet, when we look closely, those people are often some of the happiest, most fulfilled, and successful people we come across.
This is one of the central paradoxes that has proven to be true repeatedly. When we do the thing anyway, regardless of how much we may hate it, we build resilience within ourselves.
And that, I would argue, is the most essential life skill anyone can learn.
Without it, we would be spoiled children whose feelings need to be coddled at every turn to avoid any discomfort.
With it, we become agents of change capable of shaping our destiny and building a life that we will be proud of when we’re lying on our deathbed.
Thanks to a phenomenon known as the instant gratification monkey, a term eloquently coined by Tim Urban in his Ted Talk on procrastination, we seek that which is pleasurable immediately. Even if postponing it will inch us closer to our goal, it’s difficult to resist the temptation of going down a YouTube rabbit hole to understand what the hypothalamus actually does.
It may be educational, but it’s still pulling us away from what we’re supposed to do.
So, what’s the solution? It’s pretty simple: do it with a smile.
While there are many ways to make what we have to do inherently interesting (like productivity expert Ali Abdaal explains at length in his excellent book), some things require you to say, “This sucks, but I’ll do it anyway.” So, if you’re going to suffer through that ordeal, why not smile while you’re at it?
Believe it or not, the simple act of smiling can make you happier and boost your mood, according to a study from Stanford. Increasing positive emotions during negative experiences can grease the wheels just enough to get us through that task.
Whether jumping in a cold shower or researching one of the most boring topics on earth, pushing through discomfort only makes us more accepting of resistance. The more we practice, the more comfortable we become with what was previously uncomfortable. This makes our baseline reach a level where we no longer resist what used to be difficult and no longer feel as bitter about it as we did.
Instead, we find a new and interesting phenomenon. We start to seek more things that are uncomfortable. It creates a positive feedback loop that looks like the following:
Procrastinate on something difficult you have to do
Do it with a smile
Realize it wasn’t as bad as it seemed
Procrastinate on a more difficult task
Rinse and repeat
This sequence looks different for every person, but the principle holds. Once we accomplish something difficult, we feel a sense of pride and confidence that propels us to seek something more challenging. And when you become someone who enjoys doing hard things, well, my friend, you’re officially a human cheat code.
