Afraid? Jump out of a plane.

Smiling through my pain as my brother and I get ready to board the plane.

“Will you do it with me?”

Was what my dad asked me before he booked a tandem skydive to celebrate his birthday. There was only one problem:

I. Loathe. Heights.

Hell, my worst nightmare consisted of a gravitational force that sucked me toward a rail on the 5th floor of the building I was in. I dug my nails into the marble floors, desperately fighting against this force, all to no avail. Within seconds, I was flung off the rail and felt the air whistling around me as plummeted to my death, which prompted me to wake up in horror and not sleep for the rest of the night.

So, you can imagine how my heart sank when my dad asked me to overcome my biggest fear for this celebration. Just as I was about to explain why I can’t do it…

“Sure thing, count me in,” I replied.

Wait, what?

What did I just say?

I didn’t say what I think I just said, right?

Before I realized it, I signed up to fall from 13,000 feet in the air at around 120 miles per hour. It turns out that my brain cared more about making my dad’s birthday extra special rather than the dread of facing my biggest fear in life.

Then came the awful two-week wait, which gave me enough time to research how safe skydiving actually is (spoiler: it’s pretty darn safe). But my mind is masterful at singling out the handful of stories that ended in catastrophe.

This alone was reason enough to convince me to back out of it. As I went to my dad to break the news to him, I remembered a quote by Will Smith that pierced my soul:

“God placed the best things in life on the other side of fear.”

Coincidentally, he said that quote as he gave a talk about how he overcame his fear of heights by skydiving. His experience and anxieties aligned with mine almost identically. If he could do it, why couldn’t I?

With that in mind, there’s no way I could back out now.

Then came the day of the jump. My dad, brother, and I went through the safety briefing, signed our lives away, and put our harnesses on. Then, one by one, we got on the plane that looked like it was being held together by rubber bands and duct tape.

The least stable plane I ever ridden in my life.

As we got ready for liftoff, I couldn’t think of anything else other than my impending doom. My heart was racing, my palms were sweating, and I could barely hear anything. As my instructor was strapping me to himself, he could see how distressed I was. So, he lightly tapped me on my shoulder and told me to look outside the window.

I turned to look outside and was greeted by a breathtaking view of the city below with the river running through. For a brief moment, I felt at peace.

No fear.

No anxiety.

No panic.

Just me, the clouds, and the beautiful landscape below. Seeing our world from that vantage point really puts in perspective how insignificant our daily worries and concerns really are.

At least I had a beautiful view as I was screaming for my life.

These deep thoughts helped calm me down… until we reached the target altitude and the plane door flung open.

My dad and his instructor started walking over to the door, and before I could blink, they disappeared. I went numb.

Then came my turn.

With every step walking towards the door, my knees shook violently. I tried to remember the instructions: cross your arms, head up, and don’t hold on to anything. Got it.

Within 5 seconds, we were on the ledge, looking down at imminent death. I took one deep breath, trying to look calm in front of the cameraman (I wasn’t). Suddenly, my mind went blank for a second, and I felt a strong rush of cold wind, the skin on my face rippling violently, and the plane noise disappearing.

I was flying.

Pro tip: don’t wear shorts when you skydive. It’s freezing up there.

Now, I would be lying if I said it was a blissful moment for me, as many of those who skydive for the first time claim. On the contrary, I was screaming my lungs out. All I could think about was if the parachute would open. God, please let it open.

But there I was: in the thick of the most extreme version of my fear. It was one of the proudest moments of my life.

After a one-minute drop that felt like an eternity, the instructor finally released the parachute, and I was pulled violently upwards as we started our 5-minute glide. Only then was I finally able to breathe and take in the incredible landscape below me.

Birds really are some of the luckiest creatures in the world.

When my feet touched the ground, I was psyched to have crossed this insane experience off my bucket list. It was a once-in-a-lifetime event, and I was grateful to have done with those I love.

As terrifying as it was, it taught me that our aversion to experiencing things that scare us stops us from understanding what we’re truly capable of. It’s only through embracing the fear and pushing through do we come out on the other side as better people. So, yes, I’m glad I took a big step in overcoming my fear and becoming a more adventurous person.

But no, I’m never doing it again.

My shorts were surprisingly dry after the fact.